When I read this article on Offbeat Bride I had a very difficult time reacting. It describes a wedding where up until the wedding day the wedding couple had done it all themselves. Then on the wedding day, all of their friends and family stepped in to help even though they weren't asked. The moral of the article, I think, was that it'll all come together in the end and that friends and family are great.
Probably my biggest issue with this article is that this is the right way to have a wedding. That hoping that it will all fall in to place without hiring a day of coordinator or even delegating tasks is always going to happen.
I started writing a comment on the article, but just couldn't possibly describe my reaction so I decided to put it here.
I am more than happy that the writer's wedding went well, but when you leave so much up to chance, it doesn't always work out so well.
1. Would your friends have preferred not to help?
Everyone is different and I truly believe most people love to help with weddings. But when it comes down to the nitty gritty, would they have preferred not to work? Did the guests who "hauled 70 chairs" have time to go home and change? Would the friend's husband have preferred to see the wedding ceremony instead of going to buy wine?
2. What if they hadn't just "showed up"?
It is wonderful that your friends and family inherently know to arrive at 9am to help at a wedding, but others shouldn't count on that being the case with their guests. In my years as a wedding coordinator, I have had anyone and everyone flake at the last minute, not come through with what they were assigned to do, and show up late. Unfortunately, I rarely depend on my couples' friends and family to come through because experience has shown me I can't.
3. Would you have enjoyed it more if you had planned the wedding day out?
By no means am I saying this wasn't a great wedding day, but what if you had arranged more ahead of time? Would you have had a better time? What if you got to leave the reception when you wanted and didn't have to clean up? What if you weren't worrying how the tables would all get set up while getting yourself ready?
My moral to the story is don't just read the original article and think "It worked great for them so that's what I should do. You don't have to hire a day of coordinator, but at least make a plan for how all these task will get completed on the wedding day. Assign someone to set up the reception space, someone to be in charge of cleaning up, etc.
The big question is, "How many couples have done everything exactly as this couple and showed up to an un-assembled reception with no food prepared and not enough wine?"
Original Offbeat Bride Article
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